Some days I feel like I'm moving inch by inch. Trying to take everyday methodically. Not getting too far ahead of myself as to become overwhelmed. Something I have learned over the years is that I am always being tested as far as my patience and obedience. You know, you want your end result NOW. Faith come in when that end result is not for us to know. Only in due time. Uggg...... Why??? Am I right? Well, what would be the point then if we knew everything ahead of time? So, I have always leaned on my Heavenly Father to guide me. I'm not a perfect church goer who has held all the instrumental callings and immersed myself into church 24/7. I do have my feet planted firmly though in the direction of God. I stopped feeling guilty or the pressures of perfection a long time ago. Age tends to do that to ya. Thank goodness.
I have ideas and good intentions all the time swarming around in my head. It's getting my darn brain to kick my butt in gear. I feel so blessed all the time though. Grateful for the small things. Which really are big things if you look at it closer. Like my kids. They are huge in my life. I'm a hugger and love to have the kids all around me. Snuggle. Or just be in the same place. Hearing my 23yr old and 16yr old laugh while watching TV makes my heart so happy. The bustle of movement in the kitchen. Living in an apartment you hear a lot when your bedroom wall backs up to the living room. I'm not emotionally ready to be all alone. They keep me going in so many ways. I have faith that soon I will achieve the goals I have set for myself. Be the rock for my kids. Their Beacon of Light.
